Al Roker PWNs Heidi and Spencer.

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Words cannot express the absolute...GLEE...that is flowing from my fingertips at this very moment. Unfortunately, as a gossip blogger, I have to report on these two idiots. But, trust me, I don't want to. They just keep doing stuff that's newsworthy. And by "newsworthy," I mean they keep doing the stupidest crap in order to keep their names in the celeb blogosphere. What asses.

In this clip, Al Roker puts the two in their place, as only Al Roker could. Heidi spoke to TMZ (of course!) about the hilarious incident:

"Heidi, who claims Roker viciously attacked her and hubby Spencer Pratt on the air this morning, tells us Al "was incredibly rude and was verbally assaulting me... I would warn any people, especially women, who are going on the show to watch out for him."
Heidi also said she had no idea Roker was going to interview them: "I just thought he did weather. I thought he was coming to tell me it's sunny in New York."
Spencer was even funnier. He told us: "I never in my wildest dreams thought a weatherman would treat us like we just rigged the Iranian election."

Carrie Prejean Asked to Star in Porn Movie.

Who didn't see this coming? The controversial ex-Miss California, Carrie Prejean has been asked to star in a porno.

Carrie was asked by Hustler Films to star in a flick named, "You're Nailin' Palin," in which the outspoken pageant queen will *ahem* "perform" with a Sarah Palin look-alike.

This whole thing is just crazy. You, know, Vivid offered Octo-Mom Nadya Suleman $1M to star in her porn flick. To be fair, Nadya would have been screwing eight separate men, but I think Ms. Prejean should at least hold out for a little bit more cash. She did just get those boobs, you know.

Lindsay Lohan: Jewelry Thief?

It's being reported that approximately $50,000 worth of jewelry is missing from Ms. Lohan's latest British magazine shoot.

Sources are saying that Lindsay loved the jewelry and kept asking if she could keep the pieces. And, whoopsie, now all those pieces have gone missing.

Although it's still unclear if the British police are set to make an arrest, or if they're simply looking to question the actress (I'm thinking the latter), Lindsay had better get this matter addressed soon. With all the crap she's got going on in her life, this is the last thing she needs.

Rob Dyrdek Drunk at My House?

Click here to see an extremely inebriated Rob Dyrdek being escorted out of My House nightclub.

Although very convincing, the stunt has been ousted as just another John Mayer prank. From his Twitter today, Rob stated:

"# my biggest regret was not having glowsticks hanging out of my mouth...that would have made it funny...Live and Learn..

# For the record it was a joke..I didn't go to the hospital and I wasn't even that drunk..They all new that cause they followed me to my house"

John Mayer kept it going as long as possible:

"triage at Cedars with @robdyrdek. When the contents of his stomach hit that silicon bag and we all saw it, we just broke into appluse."

But he's now tweeting that it was a joke, also.

Nice work, guys. Rob, I am ashamed that you are hanging out with such a douche. I thought you were better than that.

Lindsay REALLY Likes Pussy.

See, this is why you should follow celebrities on Twitter. Common folk don't usually dig up shit like this.

Lindsay Lohan tweeted her lovah, Samantha Ronson saying,

"... Baby! Scott sent this. So weird!!!!"

...and twitpic-ed this: a"vagina car?"

Warning! This photo is definitely NSFW!!

Miley to Kill Hannah.

We all saw it coming at the end of her latest movie, but it's been made official that Miley Cyrus is putting away her Hannah Montana wig for good.

In an interview with Access HollyWood, Billy Ray Cyrus confirmed his daughter's split from the show:

“Quite frankly, I give a lot of credit to Miley for taking it to another year,” Cyrus said. “She didn’t want it to just end with whatever was the last episode we did. She wanted it to build to where there’s a moral to the story, to where it doesn’t just end and go away and that’s it. She wanted there to be an official ending to ‘Hannah Montana.’”

Great, now my stepdaughter is going to have a huge void in her life that only vodka and High School Musical can fill.

Britney's Vagina.

Oh, Brit. You look hot in panties. So why won't you wear any?

Click here to see the very revealing Britney Spears upskirt pictures at Evil Beet Gossip.

::shocker:: Janice Dickinson is Annoying.

Shortly after being kicked off I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here, Daniel Baldwin had some not so nice words about fellow contestant Janice Dickinson:

“Janice Dickinson is undereducated and over-medicated,” fumed Baldwin. “I struggle with people who have that sense of entitlement. Like Heidi and Spencer, she [thinks] being annoying will keep her on the show. She urinated in the camp rather than walk an extra 25 steps, she stole food and lied about it… It’s almost a sociopath’s behavior.”

I totally get where Daniel is coming from. I'm just as annoyed that Janice Dickinson exists in the world, but I really do think she was on the show because she's so annoying. Hell, her ridiculous outbursts get played over and over on shows like The Soup and she's basically YouTube GOLD. Better to be bashed than not talked about at all, right Janice?

Miley Hangs Up on DJ.

A little FYI: Before anyone interviews a celebrity, he/she/they are usually given a list of things not to ask. Think about it. Most stars only do interviews to plug their latest projects anyway. As you can imagine, certain celebs can get super pissed when asked to address some of the more embarrassing, off-limits points in their careers.

Click here to listen to what happened when one unlucky DJ asked Miley Cyrus about her whole Jamie Foxx ordeal.

AIG Sucks at Life, Gets Petty.

It's been almost five months since US Airways flight 1549 crashed into the Hudson river. Since then, Captain Chesley Sullenberger has been hailed as a hero for professionally landing a flight that seemed destined for a complete disaster. All passenger survived and the only injuries reported were minor. Even the passenger's possessions that were lost in the flight were promised to be reimbursed.

The American International Group (AIG), however, has yet to reimburse these people for anything they lost in the flight. Apparently, for AIG to accept an insurance claim for an airline, they have to find fault (beyond a shadow of a doubt) with the airline in question.

Morgan Durrant, a spokesperson for US Airways said that each passenger was given a check for $5,000, which is a great start. But what about people who had more than five grand at stake? What about medical bills for those who needed attention and laptops, cellphones, and suitcases full of clothing and jewelry? Leave it to a company who screwed up bad enough to be taken over by the government to screw people over once more.

Heidi Montag Poses for PlayBoy Magazine.

Sign #127 that the world will soon be coming to an end very soon: Heidi Montag has posed for PlayBoy magazine.

EW.

That's it, Heidi. Hang onto that last bit of fame for as long as you possibly can. Hell, it worked for Lisa Rinna.

Kim Kardashian Wants to Be a Pop Star.

My ears are bleeding already. Kim Kardashian is a beautiful girl. She really is. But now she wants to cross the line from being just pretty to look at, to having like, a super...hot music career.

"Producers ask me all the time. I’d have to hear a song and feel it out and see if it’s something I’d sound good at. I would like the music to sound a bit like Lady GaGa, Britney Spears and J.Lo with a bit of an R’n'B twist to it."

Really? Isn't that how everyone sounds these days? Ugh, I'm so over it. Would you buy a Kim Kardashian cd? Or at least download it illegally?

Porn Star Tests Positive for HIV.

Scary news to report in the Los Angeles porn industry today: a so far un-named actress in the industry has tested positive for HIV. All of the partners she has worked with thus far have tested negative, but are not allowed to work until this whole "situation" is resolved.

Now I don't fancy myself a skin flick connoisseur, but from what I've read (I do research), actors in the industry are required to be tested every 30 days. Gone are the days of consequence-free promiscuity. Back in the 70s, when X-rated movies began, things were simple: you get an STD, you get a shot of penicillin, you're good to go. Not so much anymore.

This whole thing kind of grosses me out. No, it really grosses me out. With incurable diseases floating around out there now, you'd think condoms would be required. But condoms aren't sexy right? Going bareback and hoping for the best is, apparently.

Mercy's Mama Madonna.

What Madonna wants, Madonna gets. Even if it's the entire future of a human being. Her adoption of Mercy James (3) has been made official. The proud mama stated earlier today:

"I am extremely grateful for the Supreme Court's ruling on my application to adopt Mercy James. I am ecstatic ... My family and I look forward to sharing our lives with her."

Wow, life's about to become a whole bucket of crazy for this kid. She'll join brothers David, Rocco, and big sis Lourdes.

Honest question. Who knew, when they saw Madonna bouncing around in torn lace singing "Lucky Star," that she'd go on to steal adopt babies from Malawi and raise them in an organic food eatin', no tv watchin' household?

Blows. My. Mind.

Christopher Lloyd is Alive!

Holy crap! This makes me so happy! I thought Christopher Lloyd had died awhile ago and I would get really sad every time I watched my Back to the Future box set and eat an entire bag of popcorn in one sitting.

But he's alive! And he can still pull hot, younger bitches. Check out his most recent pics over at Evil Beet Gossip.

Final Destination?

This story freaks me out so much, I can't even post a picture with it because it will induce a major panic attack on my end.

Long story short, a woman missed the Air France flight that killed 200+ passengers? Lucky, right? Nope. She died in a car accident a week later.

This whole situation reminds me of the time where I got really drunk and stoned and watched Final Destination 2. Huh.

Full story here.

David Carradine Did NOT Commit Suicide.

This story just gets weirder and weirder. An autopsy performed on deceased actor David Carradine revealed that he did not commit suicide as was originally thought.

Now, hopefully, no one is getting the exact definition of "suicide" confused. Suicide is self-inflicted death. Accidental or not.

So then what the HELL?! I thought he offed himself Micheal Hutchence style with Auto Erotic Asphyxiation gone wrong. I mean, come on. The divorce papers filed by his ex wife told of a man with "Deviant sexual behavior" and then statements about his sex toy shopping list surfaced. All the signs were there. And then,MSN reported that the 72 year old actor was actually murdered by a secret Kung-Fu sect.

Damn, this shit has more twists and turns than Tila Tequila's vagina! I'm hoping we all find out the truth soon.

Kendra's Baby Bump?

Kendra took to her blog today to reveal her baby bump.

"now that my news is out in the open, im so excited to introduce to u hanks and my little bundle of joy!!!! i took this pic during a photo shoot in europe to send to hank since he missed me and my growing belly so much! lololol.

now that my pregnancy isnt a secret anymore i can keep u guys updated with more pics as i get bigger and bigger ;)

hope youre all as excited as i am!!!!!!!!"

Um, WOW. I love you Kendra. I really do. But if that's what your baby bump looks like, there's no hope for the rest of us. Good luck to you two and please try to stay off those stripper poles until you squeeze that thing out.

Chastity Bono is Having a Sex Change.

The 40 year old daughter of Cher and the late Sonny Bono will soon be on her way to becoming...a man. Ms. (Mr.?) Bono's publicist released a statement announcing her (his?) decision:

"Yes, it’s true — Chaz, after many years of consideration, has made the courageous decision to honor his true identity. He is proud of his decision and grateful for the support and respect that has already been shown by his loved ones. It is Chaz’s hope that his choice to transition will open the hearts and minds of the public regarding this issue, just as his ‘coming out’ did nearly 20 years ago. We ask that the media respect Chaz’s privacy during this long process as he will not be doing any interviews at this time.”

Well, alright then. I'm all for someone being happy and comfortable in his/her own skin. What do you think the new "Chaz" Bono will look like? I'm thinking completely the same.

Usher Files For Divorce.

Usher filed for divorce this morning from his wife, Tameka Raymond. He probably cited "irreconcilable differences" because citing "didn't care enough to know my wife was out of the country having a heart attack while obtaining plastic surgery and then partied it up with French strippers later" just looks bad on paper.

Honestly, I'm not surprised. This marriage seemed doomed from the beginning what with Usher's mom disapproving in a big way and all. I hope this is handled in the best way possible for the couple's two children.

My Boyfriend is an Alcoholic.

Shia LaBeouf had a horrible case of the word vomits in a recent interview with Parade magazine.

The 23 year old got incredibly candid in the interview and spoke of his "God-sized hole of insecurity," stating (via People:

"Sometimes I feel I'm living a meaningless life and I get frightened. I know I'm one of the luckiest dudes in America right now...I have no answers to anything. None. Why am I an alcoholic? I haven't a damn clue! What is life about? I don't know."

From there, he goes on to discuss (again) his upbringing:

"I come from hippies," he says. "My humor came from seeing my parents have sex, smoke weed, my mom being naked – just weird hippie stuff, twisted R-rated humor."

Oh, Shia. Shia Shia Shia. You're just figuring things out, baby. You're young and in a crazy business. Why don't you come over to my place and we'll snuggle up on my couch and discuss the Disturbia scenes that made your muscles look the best.

Miley's Got a New Guy.

Are you sitting down? You're never going to believe who Miley Cyrus has started dating.

...wait for it...

Nick Jonas! I know! I was shocked too!

Seriously though, maybe the reports really were true. Maybe Miley really did dump that greasy, money-grubbing, underwear model Justin Gaston to get with the adorable Jonas brother. Maybe she is a serial monogamist. Maybe both.

Whatever the case may be, I really do wish the best for these two kiddos. These next three months will be a whirlwind, guys! Be sure to let all of your "private" pictures leak at a steady pace for maximum celebrity exposure.

Kathy Lee Gifford Inserts Foot Into Mouth.

*sigh* Why does Kathy Lee Gifford host the Today show again? Oh, that's right, because of her sunny personality and amazing people skills...right?

On the show today, MC Hammer showed up to plug his new reality show and Kathy Lee took his appearance as an opportunity to bash his failed music career (3:33). In front of his 11 year old son. Very professional.

I think Hammer responded well. If it were me, I would have asked Kathy how many child slaves it took to turn out a year's worth of product for her clothing line. That's ok, Kathy. We can make mistakes, can't we?

Doug Reinhardt's Fifteen Minutes are Over.

Paris Hilton and Doug Reinhardt have split, which is great for me because I made a drunken bet with friends that they wouldn't last a year. Well, someone owes me a glass of wine and a Percocet.

According to thedirty.com, Paris caught Doug eyeballing Deal or No Deal model Kendhal Beal and ripped him a new one, Paris style. Which, in addition to throwing icecubes, probably includes whining and reminding him that she is an heiress and he is so "not hot" anymore.

“In response to the inquiry on whether Paris Hilton has split up with Doug Reinhardt, yes, this is true they are no longer together. They remain friends and ask that you please respect their privacy,” a rep for Hilton says.

Um, OK. Because in HollyWood everyone stays friends, right? I'm betting that Doug is spending his days pleading with Paris to take him back, and spending his nights drunk texting Amanda Bynes and Lauren Conrad.

Jessica Alba is a Vandal.

Jessica Alba is usually one of the last celebrities who come to mind when I think of defacing public property. Unfortunately, that’s just what she did last week.

Jessica and some unnamed cohorts plastered downtown Oklahoma City with huge photos of Great Whites in order to draw attention to the dwindling population of the sharks. Great idea and all, but people in Oklahoma City are pissed. Either because she literally glued huge pictures of sharks to everything, or because she actually defaced a United Way billboard.

In a forced recently released statement, Jessica apologized for her actions saying, “I got involved in something I should have had no part of. I realize that I should have used better judgment and I regret not thinking things through before I made a spontaneous and ill-advised decision to let myself get involved with the people behind this campaign. I sincerely apologize to the citizens of Oklahoma City and to the United Way for my involvement in this incident.”

I’m all for well-organized animal activism and all, but next time Jess, let’s keep away from advertisements for actual charities.

You Love Kendra.

We all knew that she was definitely the star of Girls Next door! Now we’ve got the numbers to prove it. Kendra Wilkinson’s new reality series, “Kendra” was the highest rated series debut the E! network has seen since the Anna Nicole Show.

Pretty awesome for a chick who is launching her own line of stripper poles, huh? I did tune in to the show tonight and absolutely loved it! For you Girls Next Door fans who haven’t gotten over the girls’ breakup with Hef, the show is exactly like GND only, you know, funny. Oh, and it doesn’t feature Holly talking in that high-pitched idiot voice and saying “Puffin” every five seconds.

If you missed the premiere tonight, don’t worry. I’m sure E! will run it again…and again…and AGAIN.

Britney's Mixing Business with Pleasure...AGAIN.

After months of speculation, it’s finally been confirmed that Britney Spears is dating her agent, Jason Trawick.

The couple was recently photographed in the Bahamas with Britney’s sons Preston (3) and Jaden (2) and a source tells People, “They are totally and definitely dating. Her dad loves him. He’s the best thing that happened to her.”

Honestly, I think that saying this guy is the “best thing to happen” to Brit is going a bit far. Let’s not forget about her uber-successful music career and of course, her two adorable boys. But after her highly publicized divorce from Kevin Federline and flash-in-the-pan romance with paparazzo Adnan Ghalib, I think Britney deserves a little happiness relationship-wise.